Sex Toys for Couples: Enhancing Intimacy Together
Let's be real—sometimes bedroom routines need a refresh. Whether you've been together for decades or you're just starting to explore physical intimacy with a partner, sex toys can add a whole new dimension to your connection. I've seen countless couples transform their relationships by introducing the right toys at the right time. Today, I'm breaking down everything you need to know about sex toys for couples—from the essentials to shopping tips that won't make you blush (too much).
Why Consider Sex Toys as a Couple?
Before diving into the specifics, let's address the elephant in the room: why even consider bringing toys into your bedroom?
I remember when my friend Sarah confided that she and her husband of eight years had hit a plateau. "We love each other, but things just feel... predictable," she admitted over coffee. Six months after carefully introducing a few toys into their routine, she couldn't stop smiling when mentioning their relationship. "It's like we're dating again," she told me.
Sex toys aren't just about physical pleasure—they're conversation starters, trust builders, and sometimes, relationship savers. They encourage couples to communicate about desires, boundaries, and fantasies in ways they might not otherwise.
Essential Sex Toys for Couples
When couples ask me where to begin, I always emphasize starting with toys that feel approachable and non-intimidating. Here are the must-haves that consistently receive positive feedback:
Vibrators for Shared Pleasure
The versatile vibrator remains the gold standard for couples' exploration. From bullet vibes to wand massagers, these toys can be used during foreplay, intercourse, or as the main event.
The We-Vibe Sync consistently ranks as one of the most popular couples' vibrators, designed to be worn during intercourse for simultaneous stimulation. Its adjustable fit and remote control capabilities make it particularly couple-friendly.
Massage Oils and Lubricants
Sometimes the simplest "toys" make the biggest difference. Quality massage oils create opportunities for sensual touch and relaxation before more intimate activities. Paired with a good lubricant, these basics enhance comfort and sensation for both partners.
Restraints and Blindfolds
For couples ready to explore power dynamics, soft restraints and blindfolds offer an accessible entry point. When one sense is restricted, others heighten—creating intense sensory experiences that many couples find surprisingly intimate.
Couples' Rings
These affordable toys enhance erections while providing vibration that both partners can enjoy during intercourse. They're particularly popular among couples who want minimal interruption to their usual routine.
Remote-Controlled Options
Technology has revolutionized couples' toys, with apps and remote controls allowing partners to pleasure each other from across the room—or across the world for long-distance relationships.
THE RESORT
How to Effectively Use Sex Toys Together
Having the toys is one thing—knowing how to incorporate them is another. Here's my practical advice for making toys a natural part of your intimate life:
Start with Conversation
Before bringing any toy into the bedroom, have an open, honest conversation about boundaries, interests, and curiosities. This isn't just about consent—it's about building anticipation and ensuring both partners feel included in the decision.
Begin Slowly
Don't feel pressured to use a toy throughout an entire encounter. Sometimes the most pleasure comes from introducing it briefly during foreplay or as a finish. Pay attention to your partner's reactions and adjust accordingly.
Maintain Connection
The biggest mistake couples make is focusing too much on the toy itself. Remember that toys are meant to enhance your connection, not replace it. Maintain eye contact, continue kissing, and keep verbal communication flowing.
Take Turns
If you're introducing something new, consider taking turns being the recipient of the new sensation and the one controlling the toy. This builds empathy and understanding of what feels good to your partner.
Keep a Sense of Humor
Not every toy will be a hit, and sometimes things get awkward. The couples who enjoy toys the most are those who can laugh together through the learning curve.
Common Questions About Couples' Sex Toys
Are Sex Toys Appropriate for Married Couples?
This question comes up surprisingly often, revealing lingering taboos about marital intimacy. The simple answer is: absolutely. Marriage doesn't diminish the importance of continued exploration and pleasure.
According to a 2021 survey by sexual wellness brand EXSHA, over 70% of married couples who use couple's sex toys report higher satisfaction with their sex lives compared to those who don't. These tools can help address the natural evolution of desire and physical needs throughout a long-term relationship.
Is It Acceptable for Christian Couples to Use Sex Toys?
Many couples with religious backgrounds worry about whether toys align with their values. While perspectives vary across denominations, many modern religious counselors and writers support the use of toys within marriage.
Christian sex educator Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of The Great Sex Rescue, suggests that "anything that helps married couples connect sexually and doesn't involve third parties is generally considered appropriate." The emphasis remains on mutual consent, respect, and strengthening the marital bond.
What Is the Most Popular Sex Toy Among Married Couples?
Based on sales data and surveys, vibrators consistently rank as the most purchased and used toys among married couples. Specifically, wearable couples' vibrators like the We-Vibe and small, versatile external vibrators lead the market.
The popularity stems from their versatility—these toys can be used for solo play when a partner is unavailable or incorporated into various aspects of couples' intimacy.
Where to Shop for Sex Toys as a Couple
Shopping for intimate products together can be either awkward or bonding—sometimes both. Here are your best options:
Online Retailers with Discreet Shipping
Websites like Lovehoney and Adam & Eve offer extensive selections with discreet packaging and billing. Many feature detailed reviews and educational content to help inform your choices.
Boutique Adult Stores
Modern, upscale adult boutiques like Babeland and Good Vibrations offer judgment-free shopping experiences with knowledgeable staff. These stores often host couples' nights or educational workshops that can make exploring more comfortable.
Mainstream Retailers
Increasingly, mainstream retailers like Target and Walmart carry massage oils, lubricants, and even basic vibrators in their sexual wellness sections. For couples just starting out, this can feel less intimidating than specialty stores.
Comparing Popular Couples' Sex Toys
To help you navigate the seemingly endless options, here's a breakdown of some top-rated couples' toys and their specific benefits:
| Toy Type | Best For | Price Range | Noise Level | Learning Curve |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Couples' Vibrators (We-Vibe) | Simultaneous stimulation during intercourse | $120-200 | Low-Medium | Moderate |
| Wand Massagers | External stimulation, versatility | $60-150 | Medium-High | Low |
| Couples' Rings | Enhancing erections, hands-free vibration | $15-80 | Low | Low |
| Remote-Control Toys | Foreplay, power exchange | $80-150 | Low | Low-Moderate |
| Massage Candles/Oils | Sensual foreplay, relaxation | $15-40 | N/A | Very Low |
| Restraint Systems | Power play, sensory exploration | $30-200 | N/A | Moderate |
How Sex Toys Benefit Relationships
The advantages extend far beyond physical pleasure. Here's what research and experience reveal about the relationship benefits of incorporating toys:
Enhanced Communication
Discussing and using toys requires clear communication about desires and boundaries—a skill that translates to other aspects of your relationship. Couples often report feeling more comfortable discussing other sensitive topics after successfully navigating toy introduction.
Increased Intimacy
Contrary to some concerns, studies show that couples who explore toys together often report feeling more connected. The vulnerability required to share desires and try new experiences creates deeper bonds.
Sexual Satisfaction and Longevity
A 2016 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that women who use vibrators report higher levels of sexual satisfaction and desire. For couples navigating challenges like mismatched libidos or the effects of aging, toys can help bridge gaps and maintain physical connection.
Stress Reduction
The physical and emotional release that comes with satisfying sexual experiences reduces stress hormones like cortisol while boosting feel-good chemicals like oxytocin. This creates a positive cycle where reduced stress leads to more desire for connection.
Recommended Sex Toys for Enhancing Intimacy
If your specific goal is deepening intimacy rather than just adding novelty, consider these options:
Massage-Focused Products
Massage oils, feathers, and textured gloves encourage slow, mindful touch that builds anticipation and connection before more intense activities.
Toys That Require Cooperation
Products like the Ohnut, designed to adjust penetration depth, or position aids like the Liberator shapes, require partners to work together—creating opportunities for care and attentiveness.
Sensory Play Items
Blindfolds, warming lubricants, and toys that engage multiple senses create opportunities for trust-building and heightened awareness of each other's responses.
Final Thoughts: Making Sex Toys Work for Your Relationship
As with any aspect of intimate relationships, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to incorporating toys. What works beautifully for one couple might feel awkward or uninteresting to another. The key is approaching exploration with open communication, zero pressure, and a willingness to laugh together through the process.
Remember that toys are tools for connection, not replacements for it. The most satisfied couples use them thoughtfully, always prioritizing mutual comfort and the relationship itself over any specific product or experience.
Have you and your partner explored sex toys together? What helped make the experience positive for both of you? The conversation about pleasure and connection is one worth having—whether you're just starting out or looking to refresh a decades-long intimate relationship.